


It's Nerve Racking

by felineFan, zzzzzzzo



Series: In Which Two Young Men Stumble Into A Relationship In An Incredibly Unconventional Manner [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Awkward First Times, Bulges and Nooks, M/M, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Tentacles, Xenophilia, nervous game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 13:34:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1859910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felineFan/pseuds/felineFan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzzzzzzo/pseuds/zzzzzzzo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Oh hey, would you look at that!” You cut him off, grinning hugely. To be honest, you had mostly been tuning him out. You don't think you missed much though. Case in point: you ignore him all the time, and so far have let nothing even moderately important or interesting go unheard. You waggle your eyebrows at him, resisting the urge to giggle at his annoyed expression. “I think I found a game you'll think is even more stupid: the Nervous Game.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Nerve Racking

**Author's Note:**

> Woohoo, first time nsfw! It's probably more funny than arousing, but hey, it's there. Thanks a bunch Quinn for helping with advice, editing, and some awesome one liners, holy cow. Enjoy!

Your name is John Egbert and you are having a sleepover with your friend and co-palhoncho (and also kinda sorta huge crush but _don't tell anyone that)_ , Karkat Vantas. The two of you are an unlikely duo, greatly differing in personality, taste, and, well, species. It all works out, though, and at this point you're pretty sure that he's your best friend, along with all your other best friends. Okay, you kind of think most of your friends are your best, but Karkat's special! He's the only one willing to marathon 90s classics with you for hours on end. He complains profusely, of course, but he _gets_ your love of movies, and tolerates them anyway. Okay, you guess Jake would be willing too, and would certainly bitch a lot less, but there's something unsettling about watching movies with someone who looks almost exactly like you. It's hard to explain, but it's there.

But you digress. Now is not a time of movie watching. You two have been doing that for _hours_ now, it's time for something more interactive. Karkat had been grudging about doing something other than your usual activity, but you insisted. He has a bad habit of getting all pissy when he's watched them long enough, and starts snapping at you for talking instead of joining in on the sarcastic commentary. When things get to that point, you figure it's time to do something else, so currently the two of you are googling fun sleepover activities.

“Wow, like, ninety-nine percent of these are Truth or Dare.”

“What is it with humans and their asinine obsession with that game anyway? It's literally the most idiotic activity there is. On the one hand, you have the dare. You can go out on an ass-spelunking adventure of shit you don't want to do that's often embarrassing, gross, or painful. Apparently people are too grubtarded or maybe just have a pointless batshitting sense of pride that makes them not realize they could just, you know, not do it. You would be hard pressed to find something more bulgeblisteringly idiotic than that, and yet the game manages that without blinking an eye through the truth. This is thinkpanless in the simplest manner, one that directly conflicts with the name of the deed: you can easily lie. There is literally no way to prove if the victim is lying, and no shame or way of being caught doing it, so it's absolutely contradictory and pointless. I cannot even imagine who would find joy in such-”

Oh, there's something. Something that could possibly make things quite interesting- and maybe enjoyable?

“Oh hey, would you look at that!” You cut him off, grinning hugely. To be honest, you had mostly been tuning him out. You don't think you missed much though. Case in point: you ignore him all the time, and so far have let nothing even moderately important or interesting go unheard. You waggle your eyebrows at him, resisting the urge to giggle at his annoyed expression. “I think I found a game you'll think is even more stupid: the Nervous Game.”

Karkat raises a brow skeptically, too intrigued by this seemingly impossible concept to yell at you for interrupting. “I doubt that, but let's hear it.”

“Okay, so one person puts their hand on the other's body, like on their leg or something, and they slowly move their hand up towards their crotch while asking “are you nervous?” until one of them gets too nervous to keep going. Pretty dumb, huh?”

Your expectant silence grows into an awkwardly long one. After about thirty seconds of no response, you glance from your screen to Karkat, and burst out laughing. His face is a mixture of disgust and awe, which would be funny enough already, but everything Karkat does is exaggerated so it's like a thousand times better. Your laughter snaps him out of it, and he glares. “Shut. The fuck. Up.”

“Nah, I don't really feel like it, why don't you ask me later?” You laugh again, more to annoy him than because you really need to. It works. His eyes narrow into slits and you can hear a growling noise coming from him, weird and stuttering and vibrating. You should probably change the subject; those claws aren't purely decorative. You get an idea that would kill two birds with one stone: it would both distract him from his anger and give you an opportunity to manhandle your crush. Wait, that was kinda poorly worded. You aren't going to like, backhand him, or something. You just, well, he's kinda sorta hot, you know? And super adorable. And funny. And sweet despite the asshole front he puts up.

...Wait, no getting distracted when he's still glaring at you all grumpily. You need to say something, and quick! “Anyway though, wanna play it?”

That seems to shock him out of his anger. “You- I- what?” You have to bite your lip to keep from laughing _again_ at his incredulous tone. “Okay, A, that game is so pantsshittingly stupid there is no way in hell a moderately sane person like me would ever play it, and B, aren't you not a homosexual? I mean, wouldn't that make you uncomfortable? Not that I care or anything about your bullshit human beliefs,” he adds hastily. Aww. Why does Karkat try to act like he's not considerate when he's so obviously caring, you don't get it. Dirk had called him a tsundere on sight.

“Don't worry about that dude, it's all in good fun. Besides, I'm gonna go first with doing it to you!” You waggle your fingers enticingly.

“Fuck no. No, nope, nadda, and their distant cousin, there's no way in hell. I am not going to actively participate in such a bullshit nooklicking display of douchebaggery. That is so stupid and I refuse.”

“Aw, well, okay. It's fine if you don't want to.” You shrug. Karkat's eyes narrow, shoulders rising towards his ears. If he were a cat not of the car variety, he would be completely bristled up right now. That's a totally silly mental image, and you almost giggle. Thank goodness you're too confused to actually laugh right now, he'd probably kill you with how he's looking.

“Don't you give me that,” he hisses through gritted teeth.

“What? I'm serious, I don't really care.”

“Shut the hell up, don't think I didn't hear what your voice did there. Like a baby bird constantly nudging its mother before pulling back when she looks over, ducking its head all innocent as fuck, no it's fine I'm not hungry, again and again until she gives in and erupts into a vomit volcano into its mouth like some deranged, bestiality-esque, pedophilic and incestuous two girls one cup, only now it's two birds one why the fuck are you watching this get off of the internet you fucking creep. Your voice trailed off in a manner blatantly implying that you thought I was refusing because I'm a coward, and no, that is not fucking it, I am simply above such mundane and ballslappingly stupid activities. Don't get such moronic ideas, you putrid pustule sucker.”

You're still trying to work out his metaphor when you realize he finally got to the point at the end. Jeez though, Karkat sure is wordy! Why can't he just say what he means; you feel like you're translating a foreign language whenever you talk to him. Not to mention he gets worked up so easily, wow, you weren't even thinking of anything like that.

“No way, dude, it's really-”

“But, and I can't believe I'm doing this, if you really need me to reassert my honor in such an asinine and ludicrous manner, fine, I'll do it. You're lucky I'm such a generous soul, really, just call me Friar Tuck, or more like Friar Gives Zero Fucks, honestly, I'm just passing out favors to my idiotic friends like they're cheap cigars.”

You blink. Slowly. Start to smile, because you're pretty sure Karkat wanted to play all along and just made a huge fuss because he's Karkat and is incapable of not overdoing anything. “Wow, really, I am so thankful. You are truly a saint, O Gracious One. Swoooooooon!”

“Damn right.” You and Karkat should have some sort of sarcasm competition. You're clearly in the lead now, but Karkat seems to be trying to give you a run for your money.

Without further ado, the troll rises from his chair and plunks down so he's sitting on your bed, legs dangling off the edge and hands resting flat on the sheets beside him. His claws are clench-release-clenching like a cat, and you get the feeling he's more nervous than he tries to come across as about this. That tell-tale flush in his cheeks only furthers this impression.

“Well? What are you waiting for, an invitation?” His aloof tone and raised eyebrows don't at all hide the way his foot is jiggling at a mile a minute. Bleh. He's so obviously uncomfortable, you guys really shouldn't play if he doesn't want to. It'd be weird if you don't say something though, but what? His eyes go all scrunchy and impatient. “John?” Maybe it's a good kind of nervous? It really seems like he wants to do it. Or maybe that's just your hoping heart clouding your thoughts.

You stand, shrugging mentally. He can always tell you to stop if he wants you to. Karkat isn't exactly the type to hold his words, after all.

You sit beside him criss-cross-applesauce, fidgeting awkwardly. In theory, and any other times you've done this, it has been sort of giggly and fun, making your bros feel uncomfortable and laughing at each other's misery. It never lasted more than a few seconds, and you would soon switch to another activity. Now, though, there's been so much build-up, and you feel like it's going to be different, somehow, if nothing else because Karkat is so much more uptight than anyone else you have played with, or because of the whole you being absolutely smitten with him thing. In any case, you aren't sure how to even go about getting started, and thus you're left just sitting awkwardly beside him as the silence stretches on much too long.

“...Um.” You glance over and find Karkat side-eying you all weird. “What is it? Are you...” his mouth twitches at the corners as he speaks, “ _nervous_?”

Oh hell, it is _on_. Goodbye worrying about Karkat, he is actually being cheeky with you, the little shit. You are going to win this competition so. Hard.

...Um. Intensely. Not like, the other meaning. There will be no boners to be happening here, haha whaaaat. Don't be silly.

...Okay maybe. Just a little bit.

“No! Jeez, obviously not.” You roll your eyes, not-at-all pouting. You turn so your sitting sideways facing him, and place a hand on his knee. “Are you nervous yet?” you ask, waggling your eyebrows.

“For the love of a footfucking shitflinger, why would I be over you touching my knee? That is practically the least erogenous zone on a body ever, for fucks sake. This is so stupid.”

“Oh, you don't know?” Your eyes widen. “Human knees are like, one of the most sensitive parts, even more than the actual genitalia. Wow, I can't believe you aren't reacting to me touching it, seriously. You have no idea how many times I've creamed myself from you kicking me there when you're annoyed, it's insane.”

He stares at you, that incredulous look he gets when you say something ridiculous but so seriously he starts to doubt himself and actually believe you but still not be quite sure. “...You're pulling my leg.”

“Ooh, kinky!” You giggle and tug at his knee.

“You assbitching nookbite. There is no way you aren't making that up.”

“Would you like to touch my knee and find out?”

More staring. He digs into his pocket and takes out his phone, tapping furiously. You furrow your brows, lean over to look at the screen, and burst out laughing.

“Ohmygod you are not asking Jade. Karkat. _Karkat_.”

He flushes completely, little pointy (adorable) ears flattening. “Shut. The fuck. Up.” His voice is more of a hiss than anything. _This guy._ You cannot handle this, it is absolutely too much. You continue to crack the fuck up, tears forming in your eyes from the force of your laughter. Every time you think you can stop, you look up through watery eyes and see how flustered and disgruntled he is, and just fall right back into another fit of it. Jesus fucking Christ, just. Goodness.

Eventually you get a hold of yourself, wiping your eyes with your free hand and grinning from ear to ear. “Pfft. You're a little amazing, you know that?” A little too amazing.

“Just a bit.” Karkat proves that he can talk and growl at the same time, making his voice take on a strange, rumbling quality. It sounds all gruff and sorta cool. It would probably be about ten million times better if he did it through a purr though. As hilarious as a grumpy Karkat is, a happy one always makes your heart feel all warm and fuzzy in this way that's weird but also nice. Really nice.

“Yeah. A teeny weeny microscopic bit.” More like a huge macroscopic bit. “Anyway though, now that we established I don't get erotic pleasure from you touching my knees, wanna keep going?” Karkat shrugs and nods, still a bit too off his game to give a long winded response.

You move your hand up slowly. Huh. Karkat's leg is really warm. Not in an unhealthy way, just because that's how he is. It's another interesting thing about him, one of those weird little factoids that you thought originally were for all trolls but really just seem like cool Karkatty things.

(It's not the only way he's hot either.)

Wow, that is really corny. Did you seriously just think that? Granted, Karkat _is_ pretty hot. Like, dayum. And not just a little amazing really, actually sort of beautiful and the most amazing person you've ever met.

“...John? Hey, earth to idiot, come in asshole.” Wow, mid-Nervous Game is really bad timing to be distracted by your pining. Your hand has stopped moving, and you have been caught up and analyzing the little curls and tangles in the hair framing in his face. Gosh, he's _gorgeous_. Gosh, you've been staring for the past five minutes, you must look weird.

“Um.” You laugh, a bit too high pitched to be casual. “Sorry about that buddy! I just, you know, got distracted. And stuff.” To make his inevitable incredulity more tolerable, you indulge yourself in rubbing small circles into his (so so warm) thigh with your thumb. He's wearing jeans, but you can still feel that strange Karkatty heat radiating through. You could do this all day.

Your eyes are lowered in embarrassment, but after a long moment, you glance up, confused by the lack of exasperated troll telling you _exactly_ how stupid you are. Karkat's face is dusted with a slight red, not the dark flush on his neck he gets when he's mad, but something softer across his ears and cheeks, the flustered kind. His lids are fluttering some, and he looks startled, breath stuttering some on his exhales. He looks... pleased. Aroused.

... _Oh._

“Are you nervous?” Your voice comes out soft, tentative, as if something to loud would make the moment shatter. He swallows, shakes his head. You adjust the pressure experimentally, pressing so your fingers dig in and then switching to light, barely there strokes. For a moment you wonder what those vibrations you can feel are, seriously, is there an earthquake or what, but then you realize he's purring. Ooh, that's a nice sound, rough and stuttering and it kinda sounds like he's gargling gravel or something, but, still, you dunno, you just like it. The sound is all Karkat. All yours. It's a lot louder than his growling, and makes him shake even more, which is weird. When he growls he tries to be clamorous and aggressive, yet the shy, shaking purrs resonate much more. It's really, really wonderful, to be honest.

“You know,” he starts, and oh gosh, when you had wondered earlier what it would sound like if he spoke while purring you had no idea what you were in for. His voice is hoarse, but not in his usual crabby way, it's rough in this soft, pleased way. He's all quiet and timid and so, so _sweet_ , gosh, you can't handle this Karcutie. He is just too much. “In. In the rules it says you're supposed to, you know, gradually move your hand. Up.” Flustered Karkat is the best. Even better than the sound of his register is what he actually says though, oh dear. Your dick rises like a balloon filled with helium.

“Yeah, okay.” Aw man, your voice totally cracked just there! Gosh, you hate that, you always sound so stupid when it happens. Karkat just gulps though, fingers clench-release-clenching like mad in anticipation. Okay. Right. You can do this. You slide your hand further up hesitantly towards his crotch, checking for affirmation of whether he's nervous as you do. He says he's not. Both of you so obviously are it's sad.

Your hand finally reaches the forbidden fruit, the Eighth Wonder of the World, and something _moves._

You flinch back as if you touched a hot stove. Stare at him, eyes wide because _seriously, what the fuck is that what is in his pants that is slightly damp and_ _ **moving.**_

Karkat blinks at you. His eyes are still all hazy, confused and still a bit dazed from abruptly cut off pleasure. Gosh he's cute, he's dizzy and innocent and not at all the usual, ranty and forceful troll. You would go d'aww, but you're a bit preoccupied with being perplexed by his pants party.

“John?” His voice slurs a little, soft and puzzled. Maybe it's normal? Wait, duh, he's an alien, if he has gray skin and horns and pointy bits and can purr and has gills, why wouldn't he have a different dick? You think Dave even once mentioned a “pants squid,” but you were tuning him out to be honest. It just... Okay, you have thought of him, you know, that way before, but still. Having a vague image in your mind of a naked troll and putting your hand on a moving dick are two very different things. Karkat was right all along though, you really are an idiot to not have anticipated this.

Speaking of Karkat, he's still staring at you expectantly, blinking a little to try to wake up from his haze of arousal. “'s something wrong?” Oh no, now he's all worried, thinking he messed something up when he didn't at all, it's not his fault you're so slow sometimes. Gosh, now not only are you stupid, you feel like a total jerk.

“No, not at all! I just- That startled me a little, is all. Humans are a bit different, besides the whole erogenous knee thing.” You smile at your own joke, albeit shakily. “Um. Anyway though, the Nervous Game isn't just about... that area. Are there any other places on troll bodies you think would be good for it?” As much as you are totally, completely, one hundred percent okay with Karkat's weird tentadick thing, you aren't sure your ready to face alien crotch just yet.

“O-oh,” Karkat goes, face growing even redder. He lowers his head, ears drooping. You are absolutely _deplorable_ , now you've gone and made him go embarrassed and downcast, no, you don't want that.

“No, hey, buddy, it's okay! Really, you didn't do anything wrong, I just- I don't even know, but really, it's okay, aw, come on Karkat please don't be miserable, I'm really really sorry, you're fine, shh.” You kind of ruffle his hair, stroking through the locks reassuringly. Your sources (AKA Terezi) tell you that can help cheer him up, or as close to cheer as Karkat can come to. She's lied just to mess with you before though, so you guess it's a good a time as any to test this theory.

It helps some, Karkat leaning into your hand a little with a muted sigh. It's all fun and games until your hand brushes a horn. His breath hitches when you make contact with the warm bone, and he makes a _noise_ . Which, okay, doesn't sound like much, but the thing about this noise is, the noise that Karkat makes, it is a very hot noise that Karkat makes. That is _definitely_ a stifled moan and you really need to buy pants in a larger size because these are way too tight right now.

“Um.” His voice is so small right now, everything is, right down to the way he curls in on himself. You've never seen him like this before, and you find yourself transfixed. “If you still want another area to fuck around with, those. Those would be good. Too.”

“...Okay.” Damn, anything to have him make that sound again. “You nervous?”

“Fuck no, why would I be?” It's a complete one eighty from his earlier why-would-he-be-nervous rant, apprehensive and tentatively content rather than aggressive and irritable. You nod, finding a bit hard to talk yourself, and curl your fingers around one. Rub it along a curve, scratch lightly by the base. Your experimentations are rewarded with Karkat being reduced to putty in your hands, letting out little groans and chirrups and clicks in this strange symphony. His head nudges up into your grasp and you catch a glimpse of his face, before hidden by his fringe. His eyes are closed, but his lids are fluttering some over them, like he's trying to open them but not quite. You notice for the first time how unusually thick his lashes are, sloppy and clumped together but hanging over adorable chubby cheeks dusted in cherry red. Whenever he pauses in his mantra of awesome sounds his teeth tug his lip, darkening the dark gray into a color closer to the other trolls' black.

You can't stop looking at him.

“Are you nervous yet?” you murmur, leaning in on an impulse to brush your lips against his temple. You can feel him stop breathing for a moment, can feel his head jerk sideways to convey his response. His eyes flick up to meet yours. Pleasure has made his pupils huge, big dark things lined in red that almost completely cover his yellow sclera. You can see so much in them, emotions and insecurities and warmth. You're captivated by them. Hell, you're captivated by everything Karkat.

“Fuck, John....” He trails off. You understand anyway.

“Okay.” You lean in. His lips are still raw from all the nibbling he did. It's- it's not the best kiss you've ever had, he clearly has no idea what he's doing and is still and unresponsive against your gentle pressure. The simple fact that you're _kissing Karkat_ is more than enough to make up for that though.

When you pull back he lets out a little unintentional whine, like it had been something amazing for him too. This is the Best Thing Ever right now. Your mouth twitches into a smile, and you lean in towards his ear.

“You know, if your tentacle buddy still needs attention, I can deliver,” you whisper seductively.

“...Tentacle buddy.”

Hehehe. “Yup!”

“You know what, it no longer does need attention. You insulted its pride when you gave it the most boner killing alias ever. Alas, let us mourn, for my bulge is as dead as cluckbeast whose life came to an abrupt end via a fucking chopping ax to the head, left to run around spurting blood for a few moments before it ultimately died, a sad, lonely, pointless death. Rest in peace, my dear bulge. We had some good memories together, and it grieves me so much for your life to come to such an abrupt and painful end. Really, John, that was cruel and uncalled for. You had better bring flowers to its funeral at least.”

“Wait, but you're allergic to pollen. I would assume your tentacle buddy would have the same reaction to the allergens. Does it not?”

“It does, but the fact that it's, oh I dunno, fucking dead, makes its allergy have a bit less of an effect than it used to.”

“Oh. Right. Duh.”

“Are you going to fondle my intimate bits or not? This sexual frustration is getting out of hand.”

“Heh, was that a pun?”

“...You motherfucker.”

You giggle, glancing down at where Karkat's “intimate bits” are. Oh hey, his bulge isn't dead after all. Lies. You are simply the king of sex things, there's no way his boner could die after your careful ministrations. You extend a hand, lightly brushing your fingers against his crotch. It looks so weeeeird, you can even see strange wiggling bumps in his jeans. Wow, okay. That's... a little unnerving.

Worth it though, for the little needy mewl Karkat makes. Nggh. His hips buck up towards the slight pressure involuntarily. You man up a bit, pressing your whole palm on the area to feel how warm and damp it is. The grip on your wrist makes you look up. Karkat flicks his eyes away, fingers tapping against your arm as he searches for words.

“...Fuck. Just. Be careful, okay? I've never.... And it feels so fucking sensitive down there, god, so _vulnerable,_ I don't. It's weird, like I'm fucking at my most susceptible and instead of being on the defensive I'm letting you fondle my most fragile area, welcoming and enjoying it even, this is- It's messed up, it's _wrong_ , I always avoid shit like that so why am I-”

“Are you,” you cut him off, “nervous?” Your tone is gentle, concerned, but not enough to seem patronizing. You really, really don't wanna do this if he's not okay with it. It makes sense too; trolls are so defensive all the time so they wouldn't want to feel weak; this must be going against his instincts in all kinds of bad ways. You kind of feel like a jerk for not thinking of it sooner.

Karkat blinks, slowly. Stares at you, as if searching for whether this is just you trying to win the game. Jeez, does he really think you're _that_ much of an insensitive prick? Wow, you're offended. Eventually though, he seems satisfied with what's in your face. Lowers his eyes. Shakes his head. “No. Not enough to stop, at least. I trust you.”

It's amazing how so little can make your heart feel all floaty and like a pile of warm mushy stuff.

“Cool,” you say, and almost facepalm. What a dumb thing to say right there! Gosh, you're so lame sometimes. To make up for it you give him another smooch. Ooh, Karkat mouth is so nice, warm with a sandpapery tongue and the sharp teeth that drag over your lip oh so delicately, like he's afraid to hurt you. It's like an instant pick me up, you already feel like less of a regular idiot and more like a lovestruck idiot.

Your fingers start to fumble with the button on his jeans, and everything goes quiet.

...Wow, it's _really_ hard to unbutton them with a wiggling thing underneath. It has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with how your hands are shaking.

A zipper sounds remarkably loud in a room of only harsh breathing.

Karkat feels like more of a statue than a living thing when you pull his pants and boxers to his knees with a gentle tug.

“...Oh wow, it really is a tentacle.”

Karkat facepalms, dragging his hand down slowly to glower at you. Wow, judging by the slapping noise that made there's gonna be a mark later. “You're just realizing that.”

“Jeez, sorry! I mean, I knew that, but it's a bit different in practice. Like communism or something. Your troll dick is Soviet Russia, only it remains to be seen whether it's worse or better in practice.”

“What the actual fuck are you even talking about?”

“...Okay, no, I am not giving you a history lesson when your boner is _right freaking there._ I'll tell you later.” Before he no doubt bitches over you leaving his curiosity to linger, you brush the back of your hand against the length of his... thing.

It's, well, strange. Not exactly a tentacle, there aren't any suction cups on it or anything. It moves and writhes (creepy!) in the same way though, and is shaped similarly, thick at the base and tapering towards the end. It's sorta gray, but it's flushed red and oozing this transparent reddish-pink thick fluid. Wow, there is a _lot_ of fluid. Trolls get really wet apparently.

For the first time it occurs to you why trolls need buckets. This must get messy. It's probably already too late for your white bedsheets.

When you touch it, Karkat _keens,_ toes curling and back arching. Sensitive. Ohh boy. Tentacle Buddy curls towards your hand, wrapping around your fingers and bumping with Karkat's pulse. Huh. His heart beat is a bit faster than yours. Of course, that could have something to do with the sexual stimuli. The texture of it is weird, like the outside is some thin membrane encasing liquidy pulpy things. It feels really, really fragile. You can't imagine how he's trusting you with this. So warm too, almost uncomfortably hot on your hand.

When it reaches back, dribbling liquid over your palm and his pudgy (totally cute) belly, you see there's something below it. Oh. He does talk about nooks too, so you guess that makes sense.

It's sort of like a vagina, but not quite. It's weirdly neat, just a thin slit oozing liquid with no clitoris or anything else in sight. He doesn't have any pubic hair, or any hair on his body at all come to think of it. Either trolls don't have that, or Karkat just waxes.

You resist the urge to snicker at the thought or Karkat trying to wax his leg and screaming ridiculous curses when he realizes oh hey, that hurts. Instead you wiggle your fingers in Tentacle Buddy's grasp experimentally. With how delicate it feels, jerking him off the way you would yourself is probably a Bad Idea. With that eliminated, you have no idea what to do.

Your hesitant movements and strokes seem to work well enough, judging by the moan Karkat releases, morphing into the weird clicks and growls of Alternian. God, that sound shoots straight to your crotch like a bullet. Almost as painful too, considering how you're denying your pocket rocket the love and attention it desires. Hnng.

You work at Karkat's bulge for a while, watching his flushed face for every expression he makes, how his mouth tightens and eyes go all squinty in a totally different way than his usual grumpiness, listen to the mantra of English and Alternian and breath hitching and moans and chirps and so many amazing noises, fucking Christ how does he do this, it's unreal. Unreal in a very sexy way that is not a bad thing in the least; kind of the major opposite in fact.

Eventually your curiosity gets the better of you, and you start to extend your other hand. Bluh, you'll probably gonna get arthritis from the angle you need to tilt your hand to reach it. Oh well. “Tell me if you get nervous, okay, in all seriousness. It's fine.”

When he speaks it's in gasps and his words hold none of their usual venom. “Of course I will. Jesus, do you think I'mmmmmm suddenly your submissive, blushing, troll bottom? Newsflash, I ne-eah-ver take your bullshit without objecting profusely and that's not gonn-ahh change just cause your fondling my- my- hhhn.”

When you run a finger along the slit with just a bit of pressure, not quite penetrating it, you find that it seems to radiate heat as well. Ooh. You wonder how it would feel on your modest member. _Ohh shit._ That is a very nice train of thought, though it certainly is not helping the intense blue balls you're getting. Would there be a way to play with both pieces of Karkat's equipment and still have a free hand?

…

Oh. Yes. There is. Okay. You've got this.

You pull your hands back to make getting off of the bed a bit easier. The needy noise Karkat makes in reaction is _criminal_. He'll be the death of you, seriously.

Aw, welp. At least it's unintentional, judging by the mortified look on his face.

“Hehe, sorry. Just a moment.” You chuckle and kiss his pout lightly. It seems like by now you have an all day pass to Karkat mouth, and you intend to take advantage of it wholeheartedly. Of course he has to be all challenging about it, biting your lip hard enough to hurt and jerking back with an irritated grumble. His nose goes all scrunchy when he glares at you. He intends his glower to intimidate you, the one he claims sends grubs screaming for mercy, and instead you want to boop his button nose.

“You fruity bastard,” he hisses. “You crotchtripping dicklicker.”

“Funny you said that,” you say, climbing off of the bed and kneeling on the floor in front of him. It takes a moment for him to process that, and his eyes widen.

“Wait, fuck, do you mean-”

You lick the tentacle up its length. Suck at the tip.

Karkat throws his head back and _keens_. His claws finally tear the sheet he's been gripping tightly.

You take in a bit more. It's actually really hard to do, especially with Tentacle Buddy moving and all. You can only handle like two or three inches, but Karkat certainly doesn't seem to mind. He especially doesn't mind when you rub the outside of his nook with one hand for several stokes, before carefully slipping a finger into that hot wet heat.

Fffffuck, those noises. Clicks and growls and hisses and groans, oh my! You really, really need to pay some attention to your own member. It's becoming jealous of Tentacle Buddy and Nook Man, for they are receiving all of its old attention all of a sudden. Getting your mouth involved had been intended to solve this problem, but performing a blow job on something long and moving without anything to brace it? Didn't work out. With a sigh, you raise a hand to grip the base of where it emerges from the top of Karkat's nook, steadying it and giving it a few shallow strokes.

You curl your fingers (three now, huh, you don't even remember the conscious decision to put more in) in his nook, and the noise he makes is _criminal_. You do that again, and again, a lot. “Sh-shit.” Shaking hands find your hair, claws kneading at your scalp, careful not to pierce skin. When you lower your head another centimeter or so he tugs at your hair, enough to hurt in a kind of prickly way. A noise escapes you involuntarily. Shit, you never did realize how hot that is until just now. The vibrations of your groan through his bulge makes him tug even tighter. “Mmmfffuck.” You hum experimentally, rewarded with another pull. Every sound you make around it makes his grip tighter, oh god it's so hot he's so hot _why don't you have a free hand._ “J-john...nnn.” He's having trouble speaking, breath reduced to pants and gasps, and you did this to him, this is the most amazing thing.

You flick your eyes up and see him, and gosh, he's so beautiful. His eyes are shut tight and teeth gritted, brow soaked with sweat and he's shaking from how tense he is, from restraint. You pull your head back, mouth making a wet _pop!_ as it leaves him, and the noise he makes in reaction sounds almost like a sob.

“Hey, Karkat, it's okay.” He's glaring at you, eyes heavy with frustration and need and he really is taut like a strung bow, jeez. You smile shyly at him, retaining eye contact even as you give his bulge a long, wet lick from base to tip, fingers bending to hit just the right spot in his nook. The whine he releases is incredible. “Just let go.” You speak softly, low and gentle yet rough with arousal, and he does.

All over you, actually.

Holy shit that's a lot.

Also it's red? It kinda looks like his bulge is squirting ketchup, or blood. Um. Ew. It's still weirdly sexy though?

His cum comes (hehe) out in short bursts, lasting several minutes. You lean your head to the side as you stroke every last drop from him, but that doesn’t stop you from being soaked by the initial blast. Eventually the spurts slow and decrease to less fluid, and finally stop. His bulge falls, limp and lazy, resting in your hand, before slowly retracting back into his nook. You carefully pull your fingers out and look at him.

His face had been scrunched up and tense all through out his climax. It now relaxes into something sleepy and satisfied, almost catlike. His eyes are closed and there’s a small smile on his face. After a moment he blinks at you, gaze bleary from his post fellatio haze. His calm doesn’t last, shoulders tensing as Karkat becomes all nervous and wary.

“Oh. Shit. Fuck. Sorry, about that.” He looks sheepish, but underneath that oddly... pleased. You imagine him with your seed spilled over his face, and figure you can sympathize. Oh my. “And your sheets too. Fuck, I really should’ve foreseen this. I mean, I knew that was going to happen and I still-”

“Say, Karkat, can I ask you something?” He looks very, very cute like this and you find yourself struck by inspiration. Your revelation doesn’t make you any less embarrassed about it, though.

“...Yeah?” Karkat squirms a little, probably uncomfortable with the puddle of fluid and sopping wet sheets he’s sitting on. After a moment of thought you rise, stretching your cramped legs, and sit beside him, more to stall than anything. The silence drags on. “...Joh-”

“Willyougooutwithme?” You blurt the words in a rush, cheeks heating up.

Again, silence.

...

Okay seriously what the hell? There it is, out in the open and clear as day, so _what’s taking so long?_ Can’t he just hurry up and reject you with disgust or something, and get it over with? Why is he putting it off so much? It’s literally been like, five minutes since you asked now!

“...You really want to?” he asks quietly, and your tension explodes out of you.

“Yes! Fucking duh, seriously Karkat, come on. You’re so great, and cute, and just, jeez, don’t even get me started, okay? I didn’t really realize it until a little while ago but I think I’ve really liked you for a long time, and to be honest I don’t see how anyone could possibly _not_ adore you, and just- just... I don’t even know, okay? But I really, really want to date you Karkat. If, you know, that’s okay with you and all.”

Another pause, this one shorter. “Really?”

“Seriously? Yes, Karkat, a billion times so. All the yeses. All of them. Oh my god, can you stop stalling so much, it’s making me nervousssoh _you little shit_.”

Karkat smiles, slow and smug and toothy. “Is it, John? Is it really _making you nervous?”_

“You are such an _ass_ ,” you hiss, punching him in the arm. This is absolutely _mortifying._ He actually went and took advantage of you asking him out to win a stupid game you had forgotten you were even playing. He seriously did that. Why do you even like this guy, he is such a _dick_.

“I know,” he says, still grinning triumphantly. It’s actually really annoying, ‘cause even when he’s being a total shithead he still has the cutest smile and it still makes you feel all warm on the inside seeing it. What the hecks Mex cuisine is wrong with you?

“Bluh bluh you suck. Is that a yes or not?”

He takes your hand. “Of course.” Squeezes it. “You never even had to ask, really.”

“Oh. Sweet.” The corners of your mouth curve up. It’s just really hard to stay mad at Karkat, okay? Even when he’s being a dickweed. “So. Um. I guess I should probably get cleaned up, huh?” You glance down at your ruined clothes. And bed, and carpet. Wow, okay. You should probably do something about that before it dries up. To be honest, though, you don’t wanna let go of his hand. Or stand up. Really, if you never move again that would be fine with you.

“Wait!” He exclaims it like you were standing up and he had to stop you, when you really couldn’t be farther from it. Karkat realizes his mistake and flushes, averting his eyes.

“Uh. Yeah?”

“Well, I mean.” He fidgets. “Earlier you mentioned some shit about trading positions after. In the Nervous Game. So, fucking, I mean...” He lets go of your hand, rests his on your knee instead. You shiver with anticipation. “Can I just...”

Now that he’s brought it to mind, your rejection erection absolutely aches with the need for stimulation. “Yeah. You can.”

He nods, touch light and hesitant as he slides his hand up your leg.

“Are you nervous yet?”

 


End file.
